Ladies and Gentleman. This is a great day for me. I will officially name the machete....but before we get to that there is even bigger news than that. I have my first official follower.
Yes people this is very exciting. For many months now I have been skating through with all you half followers of the blog. This is official like a referee with a whistle. Bryan Lenz is my first follower andbecause of that I am eternally grateful. I would like all of you to write below at least 2 things that you like about Bryan. For those of you that dont know to much about him. I will give you a quick synopsis of Bryan.
1) His name is Bryan. Spelt with a y. But he prefers to go by the name hollywood.
2) He likes mimosa's. A little to much I think.
3) He is very fond of accessorizing. I believe bracelets are his main go-to in this department.
4) He currently works at Pacific. Which is a college in Cali
5) He is from Greenwood and is an ex qb.
6) He is still a fan of Brett Favre.
7) He is in a relationship with a female. (many think this is surprising...not the relationship..the female part of it.)
8) He likes long walks on the beach sipping mimosa's while accessorized near pacific thinking about if he could date Brett Favre.
This is about all there is to know about Bryan. Remeber all you half followers of this blog must write one thing you like about him. Participation is mandatory and maybe one day I will we can all be like Mr. Lenz. Thank you
This leads us to the official winner of the machete competiton. This was a very hard decision to make. All finalists are very special in their own way. There has been some behind the scenes bribage. But interesingly enough the winner did not participate in any of that. (This would eliminate dads answer of Iron Braun from the competition. However thank you once again for paying for my girlfriend to come down here and see me.) This only leaves three contestants left.
Drumroll please........
The winner of the name my machete competition is..............
Clarise.
Congrats to the winner who would be my Aunt Holly. The name you have chosen has been stuck in my head and has led to many movie quotes. I look forward to congradulating you in person. Everytime I see the machete I cannot help but say "Hello Clarise". For this you are the winner. Acceptance speach is allowed. Bragging is encouraged.
Thanks again for reading.
Love
Matt
Interesting Fact: Coke for the Bahamas is canned on the island of Nassau. Nassau has taken it upon themselves to decided that natural sugar tastes better than corn syrup. What does this mean you may ask. That all coke in the Bahamas is made with natural sugar.
Your dad says:
ReplyDeleteGood choice with Clarise. It was an early front runner and was never overtaken. It was the "Cavendish" of machete names.
1. Bryan Lenz was beat out of N Sync by Lance Bass for the final spot because Lance was slightly more manly...
2. As a two year old Brian took a wooden baseball bat to the face that shattered the bat but did no damage to Bryan. Head like a bowling ball.
3. Bryan knows all the "hand options" and rules to sheephead no matter how many are playing. This is all he did in high school.
4. He can outdrink his brother which is saying something.
5. We miss him in WI though he looks to be Cali through and through.
6. Brians fantasy football team was named "The Chlmydia" and his slogan was "No one wants to mess with Chlmydia"
7. Bryan was a witness ti the greatest Brett Favre argument of all time.
Dear Matt:
ReplyDeleteI don't know this famous Bryan. Why haven't you introduced us yet. He sounds like someone I would like to get to know! ha ha
Barb
All this attention is very humbling. With my right arm, adorned with numerous bracelets, I raise a glass of mimosa to you, fine men. BL
ReplyDeleteBryan's girlfriend says...
ReplyDelete1. Bryan cannot outdrink Scott anymore as I am witness, on more than one account, to what happens when Bryan finishes his 6th glass of mimosas. Scotts an animal.
2. He doesn't discriminate... Mimosa's aren't Bryans only drink of fancy. He also enjoys pomegrante mojitos and mango margaritas.
3. As he has grown into a fine young man, his accessorizing has now turned to skinny ties, shoes, fitted suits, and fedora hats. The bracelets, however, are still there.
4. There is a Brett Farve collage in his bedroom. There is no collage of me.
HAHA last post is the best. Thanks Alexandra
ReplyDeleteI don't know Bryan but am trying to use my telepathic powers to channel some facts about him. Things are pretty foggy as I try to peer into the past.... ah I think I see something.
ReplyDelete1. Bryan wears (or use to wear)his sun glasses on the back of his head upside down.
2. He received honorable mention as a defensive back in 2000
3. He is a runner
Alright, enough about Bryan. No offense Bryan but on to the important stuff. The naming of the machete AND MY WINNING THE CONTEST. I'll stop here so that the applause can die down a bit. It is a great name and I knew I would win. I used my psychic ability to see into the future to pick the winning name. It is a gift I have. Much like how I knew that Bryan wore his glasses backward at his sister's wedding.
As for the contest, I had your Dad and brother kneeling at my feet. I wanted to post the picture of their display of my superiority here but I don't know how to post the pictures. Leave it to be said that they recognize greatness when they see it.
I am wondering if you will be able to take Clarise out of the country? How will this happen? and what does Katie think about your relationship with Clarise?
Holly - you are hilarious. I think even more funny than Matt! Congrats on the big win :)
ReplyDeleteBarb